Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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