There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
