to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
