Your tits are I can't wait for
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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