If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
