gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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