I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im holly from the hills drunk
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
