I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She bit a glass in half.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
