What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
