Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
