i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
