I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
