my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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