I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
