We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
