dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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