I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
