My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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