Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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