apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
