there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
