; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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