as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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