i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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