it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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