You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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