Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
