we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
