i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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