Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
