doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
