Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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