before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Welp...herpes.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
