..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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