True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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