Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
