YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
