I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
