Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
