yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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