Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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