his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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