i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
And then he peed in my hair
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