"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
