That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
