the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
