I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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