Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
