I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
