was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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